Heard Around Azeroth: World Cup Gossip

*fade in to a grassy field. In the middle of the shot is a blood elf male, wearing mail*

Welcome to Heard Around Azeroth.  I'm your host, Aethelred the Perpetually Unready.  Today's show will delve deep into the gossip surrounding this most august event, as well as helping me overcome my fears of invisible bears.  They're out there, I swear!  You'll all be sorry when they eat you!

*A night elf female dashes into shot and throws water on Aethelred.  He coughs, sputters, and pushes his hair out of his face*

Sorry about that. I'm making progress, or at least that's what my therapist says, but it's slow-going some days.  Anyway, first off, I'd like to share a little tale with you.  I was sitting next to two lovely Sindorei women, and couldn't help overhearing their conversation during the orc/human match.  They were discussing orcs and their "size" when our august Regent Lor'themar Theron wandered by and made what I consider to be one of the funniest remarks I've heard this century...

"Yes, ladies, they really are that big, but they're also spiked for your pain."

I managed to catch up with him later, and here's what he had to say, with the Grand Magister at his side as always.

"Regent, I can't help but wonder, how exactly do you know orcs have spiked penises?"

"I don't, but I heard the rumor lately, and thought it would be a nice one to spread.  We Sin'dorei really can't afford to have dalliances outside our race.  Our population's on the verge of extinction, we need to reproduce."

"But couldn't you ask the warchief?"

"Does it seem like a good idea to walk up to an orc and ask him if he has spikes on his penis?  Really?"

"Good point.  Now given your push towards reproduction, when can we expect you to get married?"

"Well, um..."

"Married!  Oh, that's rich!"

"Shut up, Rommath! Of course, my duties to the Sin'dorei come first, and sadly they leave me little time for courtship."

"Thank you, Regent, and I know all of us wish you great luck in finding that special woman.  And Magister Rommath, I would encourage you to seek a mate as well.  Your great magical aptitude should be passed down to the next generation."

"Hey, look, an invisible bear!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

*Aethelred runs off screaming. Lor'themar looks at Rommath and sighes.*

"You know, there are days I fear for the future of our race.  Did you know he's the most promising young paladin we've got?"

"At least the mages are doing well."

"I suppose."

*They wander off.  Then a night elf female dashes into frame.*

"Sorry about that.  I'm Lyllea, and this has been Heard Around Azeroth.  Next time we attempt to get a gnome to sit still long enough to tell us about their surprise victory over the Vrykul.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have a blood elf paladin to go cast fear ward on."

Blog Azeroth Topic: The World Cup in Azeroth

What if, instead of laying waste to two continents, Deathwing actually came up and said "Let's determine which race of Azeroth is best once and for all - by having the World Cup of Warcraft!" Faction rivalries are set aside, each race is on it's own, supporters are flooding to the capitals and embarking in ships to see their teams play. Which race would win the Cup, and how?  Which crowd favourite dark horse would face them in the finals?  Which seemingly unbeatable team gets sent home after a devastating and surprising defeat in the first round?
This awesome topic suggested by http://primetimecasual.wordpress.com/


Alrighty. We have 10 playable races, ranging from Tauren to Space Goats, plus npc races like Vrykul, Timbermaw, fel orcs, and loads of others.  Since the real World Cup has 32 teams, we need to somehow come close to that number.  Also, the World Cup system confuses me, so for simplicity's sake I'm doing a single elimination thing.
Here are our teams and their matches...
Round 1

Draenei vs. Night Elves-> Hooves are not made for soccer. Night elves win in a landslide

Blood Elves vs. Tauren-> The belves fight dirty, and the tauren never had a chance, plus they had the hooves problem to contend with.
Forsaken vs. Humans-> The Forsaken's star forward accidentally kicks his own leg off very early in the match and the team never comes back from it. Humans win.
Dwarves vs Orcs-> The dwarves almost take it with their excellent sprinter skills, but the orc bloodlust just gives them more staying power. Orcs win in a close match. 

Vrykul vs Gnomes-> Now this was a great match. The Vrykuls' raw power was no match for the gnomes agility and superior intellect. There was also a great deal of gnome punting (including one impressive kick that took a gnome forward from the center line into his own goal).

Timbermaw vs the Kalu'ak->Timbermaw in a close matchup.

Scourge vs Trolls-> Trolls win by a landslide. Brainless undead are not the best soccer players.

Frenzyhearts vs Kurenai->Again, hooves not good. Frenzyheart kick ass and take names.

Oracles vs Sporeggar-> This one ends in a draw, since neither side is really sure what they're doing.  The Oracles do end up agreeing to a forfeit in exchange for a lot of shinies.

Mag'har vs Netherwing-> the Mag'har go squish.  It was a nasty and short game, more akin to a brawl than to soccer.

Keepers of Time vs Red Dragonflight-> Keepers of Time win this one, and Chromie celebrates by stripping in the middle of the field, thus settling the male vs female debate once and for all (female in gnome form at least).

Blue Dragonflight vs Black Dragonflight-> Well, the Blacks cheated, and ended up losing half their team to red cards. The Blues ended up wiping the floor with them, which was good as no one wanted to hear Malygos having another tantrum. Deathwing did incinerate the referee afterwards, and got himself thrown out.  No one likes a sore loser.

And for Round 2-> YOU DECIDE!  Apparently either blogger will not let me do a proper poll or I am an idiot and can't find the options, so here's a list.  Comment with your winners and add why if you want to.  And no, I did not plan the two epic grudge matches, it just ended up that way.
1. Night Elves vs Blood Elves
2. Humans vs Orcs
3. Gnomes vs the Timbermaw
4. Trolls vs Frenzyheart
5. Oracles vs Netherwing
6. Keepers of Time vs Blue Dragonflight

Blog Azeroth topic: If you were given the option, would you post a link to your blog in your main's armory profile?

Anea, from Oh Look, an Alt posed this question in Blog Azeroth's Shared Topics this week. So I decided to ramble on about it...
Answer:
I'd be torn.
The good: more readers, more publicity.
The bad: more spam comments, more trolling
The neither good nor bad: attaching a link to my priest might give the impression that this is a priest blog.   I don't want people coming here just for priest stuff, because, as we all know, I write about whatever pops into my head.  Granted, playing a priest means priest stuff tends to pop into my head more, but I'm still not a really reliable source of all priest info. I can suggest a few good blogs for that sort of thing though.

In fact, linking to a particular character could cause all sorts of misconceptions.  If the toon has all sorts of raiding achieves, but the blog is about leveling alts or ui customization or hardcore rp, well, that could be bad or at least confusing.  And what about those who don't really have a main, per say?

And then there is the idea of more readers.  I like it when people read what I write, I really do.  But I'm not sure I have a thick enough skin to deal with some of the stuff the popular bloggers do.  And then there's the problem that I write for myself.  I learned that a long time ago with fiction writing, if it makes me laugh it did its job.  Anyone else enjoying it is just a lovely lovely bonus.  Now I've modified this a bit with blogging.  I try to make sure that my topics are interesting to other people, but I still talk only about stuff I find interesting, and I don't choose my topics based on what I think others might like.   This is why I don't have a set topic for my blog, because I am interested in lots of stuff in wow, and I hate being limited.

I think it'd also depend on how much control I have over it.  Can I set permissions so that you only see it if you're logged into battlenet, or only if you're a guildie or play on my server?  I'd be much more likely to do it if I had some control over who saw it.   In fact, I don't think I would do it unless I had some way to set permissions.  So, probably not.

Brief Pimp Post

I found new blogs. Okay, so this should not be a shock, since I joined Blog Azeroth, but these two are really good. Thus the pimp.

This one actually reminds me of my blog, so go read and follow it!

A Healadin's Tear This one is written by a servermate, and the blog is quite good, even if she is a horde. :)

Blog Azeroth topic: How will Cataclysm change your game?

I joined Blog Azeroth. They have this nifty shared topic thing, and one of the currentish topics is "How will Cataclysm change your game?" And there's the original suggestor's response.

Well, Cat has already changed my game. From the moment they said "hunters, no more mana for you," I realized I needed to have at least one more 80 so that if hunters get completely boned, or if I hate focus with the burning passion of a thousand stars, I have other options. Now, I'd already gotten an RAF account and was leveling a druid/priest pair, and the Cat changes just offered more incentive. And now, Lyllea (my priest) is my main, Garetia (my hunter) is my lvl 80 alt, and I've got a druid, a pally, and a DK slowly wandering through Outlands, just in case priest healing gets gimped. I don't think it will, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

As far as the new stats, I dunno. I think it will make my game slightly more inconvienent, since it's sounding like dps caster gear won't overlap with healy caster gear anymore, and that means two full sets of gear (three if you count pvp). Not so sure I'm thrilled with that.

More than anything, Cataclysm just provides me with more incentive to get things done. I am a procrastinator of the worst sort, so having a deadline helps me get things done.

There are things I'm really looking forward to, like rolling a warlock Alliance-side. I'm not a big fan of humans, and well, gnomes squeak, so warlock's the only class that is horde-only for me. I should probably figure out how to free up a character slot for that.

I'm also looking forward to the zone updates. Goodness knows, I've no desire to level through the same zones over and over again, and yet this is what I've been doing. The dungeon finder helps a bit with this, but let's face it, you have to do something while you wait, and there are only so many games of Peggle I can play.