Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Blog Azeroth Topic: The World Cup in Azeroth

What if, instead of laying waste to two continents, Deathwing actually came up and said "Let's determine which race of Azeroth is best once and for all - by having the World Cup of Warcraft!" Faction rivalries are set aside, each race is on it's own, supporters are flooding to the capitals and embarking in ships to see their teams play. Which race would win the Cup, and how?  Which crowd favourite dark horse would face them in the finals?  Which seemingly unbeatable team gets sent home after a devastating and surprising defeat in the first round?
This awesome topic suggested b

Alrighty. We have 10 playable races, ranging from Tauren to Space Goats, plus npc races like Vrykul, Timbermaw, fel orcs, and loads of others.  Since the real World Cup has 32 teams, we need to somehow come close to that number.  Also, the World Cup system confuses me, so for simplicity's sake I'm doing a single elimination thing.
Here are our teams and their matches...
Round 1
Draenei vs. Night Elves-> Hooves are not made for soccer. Night elves win in a landslide
Blood Elves vs. Tauren-> The belves fight dirty, and the tauren never had a chance, plus they had the hooves problem to contend with.
Forsaken vs. Humans-> The Forsaken's star forward accidentally kicks his own leg off very early in the match and the team never comes back from it. Humans win.
Dwarves vs Orcs-> The dwarves almost take it with their excellent sprinter skills, but the orc bloodlust just gives them more staying power. Orcs win in a close match. 

Vrykul vs Gnomes-> Now this was a great match. The Vrykuls' raw power was no match for the gnomes agility and superior intellect. There was also a great deal of gnome punting (including one impressive kick that took a gnome forward from the center line into his own goal).
Timbermaw vs the Kalu'ak->Timbermaw in a close matchup.
Scourge vs Trolls-> Trolls win by a landslide. Brainless undead are not the best soccer players.
Frenzyhearts vs Kurenai->Again, hooves not good. Frenzyheart kick ass and take names.

Oracles vs Sporeggar-> This one ends in a draw, since neither side is really sure what they're doing.  The Oracles do end up agreeing to a forfeit in exchange for a lot of shinies.

Mag'har vs Netherwing-> the Mag'har go squish.  It was a nasty and short game, more akin to a brawl than to soccer.
Keepers of Time vs Red Dragonflight-> Keepers of Time win this one, and Chromie celebrates by stripping in the middle of the field, thus settling the male vs female debate once and for all (female in gnome form at least).
Blue Dragonflight vs Black Dragonflight-> Well, the Blacks cheated, and ended up losing half their team to red cards. The Blues ended up wiping the floor with them, which was good as no one wanted to hear Malygos having another tantrum. Deathwing did incinerate the referee afterwards, and got himself thrown out.  No one likes a sore loser.

And for Round 2-> YOU DECIDE!  Apparently either blogger will not let me do a proper poll or I am an idiot and can't find the options, so here's a list.  Comment with your winners and add why if you want to.  And no, I did not plan the two epic grudge matches, it just ended up that way.
1. Night Elves vs Blood Elves
2. Humans vs Orcs
3. Gnomes vs the Timbermaw
4. Trolls vs Frenzyheart
5. Oracles vs Netherwing
6. Keepers of Time vs Blue Dragonflight

1 comment:

  1. The WC group phase is simple, really. Wait until you try to figure out Champions League matches in the knock-out round... :P

    1.) Bloodelves in a close match. Referees are afraid to book them cards, as Belves are likely to retaliate by eating officials.

    2.) Humans after penalties. Orcs fight back hard, but in the end their temper gets the better of them and they loose their cool when it comes to the shootout.

    3.) Gnomes. Agility wins the day.

    4.) Trolls. A gruelling, violent match, but Troll regeneration saves them as they get by with the allowed maximum substitutions.

    5.) Netherwing. The Oracles never stood a chance.

    6.) Keepers of Time. Controlling the clock never was taken so literal in a game.